


paprika

by possumdnp



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Different First Meeting, Animals, Fluff, M/M, Zookeeper Phil Lester
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-19
Updated: 2020-03-19
Packaged: 2021-03-01 05:06:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,454
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23219731
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/possumdnp/pseuds/possumdnp
Summary: An alternate first meeting where Phil is a zookeeper and Dan thinks he's cute.
Relationships: Dan Howell/Phil Lester
Comments: 18
Kudos: 65
Collections: phandomficfests: escape from reality





	paprika

Dan doesn’t know who’s cuter, the red panda or the zookeeper who’s currently feeding her bamboo.

His name is Phil; Dan knows that because he introduced himself at the beginning of this zookeeper talk. It’s also embroidered in cursive on the pocket of his khaki shirt, lest Dan manage to forget. Which he might, because the guy is distractingly cute.

(Really, that khaki uniform shouldn’t look good on anyone, but it does on this guy, clinging to his muscular arms in all the right ways.)

“Paprika absolutely loves bamboo,” Phil says enthusiastically to the small audience in front of the exhibit. “She can eat her weight in bamboo leaves and shoots every day, isn’t that incredible?”

The kids and adults standing at the barrier to the red panda exhibit make noises of interest, but Dan stays quiet. He can’t seem to keep his eyes off the zookeeper.

Some of the kids ask questions about red pandas, where they’re from, if they’re related to giant pandas, if they eat meat too. Even though Dan knows Phil has probably answered these same questions a thousand times before, he doesn’t lose his enthusiasm. His eyes sparkle when he talks about the animals, and he gets even more enthusiastic when a second red panda comes out of a nesting box.

“Oh, and this is Matthias, our male red panda,” Phil says eagerly, gesturing up into the tree. “He’s a bit shier than Paprika, so you guys are really lucky to see him today. C’mon, Matty.” He tries to entice Matthias down with a bit of bamboo, but the red panda seems a bit timid around all of the people. Dan doesn’t blame him.

Phil answers a few more questions, and then thanks everyone for coming to the zookeeper talk. The kids and parents start to trickle away, leaving Phil alone with Paprika the red panda. Dan stands there, watching him for a while, which is probably really creepy. There’s just something exquisitely charming about watching a cute guy talk to a fluffy animal like she can understand every word he’s saying.

Phil turns around to leave the exhibit and spots Dan. He smiles kindly and walks over to the fence. “Hi! Did you have a question you wanted to ask me?”

“Uh-” Dan knows he’s perfectly allowed to stay here at the exhibit, but he feels like he’s been caught red-handed. He tries very quickly to think of a question that’s not, _what’s your number?_ or _hi I’m gay and single, how about you?,_ but his brain has gone totally blank.

Phil seems to take pity on him. “You’re also free to stay here too and just watch Paprika and Matthias go about their day! That’s all right. I do that sometimes too.” He looks around outside of the exhibit. “Do you have a kid with you, or is it just you?”

“No, it’s, uh. It’s just me, a weird single adult at the zoo by himself.”

Phil grins. “Hey, don’t say it’s weird! I love going to zoos by myself! I mean, zoos I don’t work at, obviously. It’s really peaceful and interesting to just watch all of the animals, isn’t it?”

“Yeah.” Dan suddenly feels shy - something he never really feels - and has to avert his eyes. “It’s a nice break from reality.”

Phil’s gaze softens. “I get that. I know I work here, but sometimes, these animals are the best part of my day.” His voice has lost a bit of his sparkly presenter enthusiasm. He still sounds so warm and gentle though.

“It must be nice to be a zookeeper and be around animals all day,” Dan says.

“It’s a great job most of the time,” Phil agrees, and pulls another shoot of bamboo out to feed to Paprika, who has followed Phil over to the fence. “I mean, I spend more time cleaning up poo than doing fun enrichment activities with the animals. And it’s always the worst day ever when an animal dies. But I wouldn’t choose any other job.”

“I bet.” They both watch Paprika happily eat the bamboo, grasping it between her fluffy paws. “My name’s Dan, by the way.”

“Dan. I’m Phil. Obviously.” He points down at his shirt pocket. “What’s your job? You must not like it, ‘cause you said you want to escape from reality.”

Dan shakes his head. “No, I like my job well enough. I work at a game store right now,” Dan says. “Turns out it’s kinda hard to get a job with a philosophy degree and no real experience. But at least it’s better than the law degree I was originally going for.”

“Wow, a game store? You’re a gamer?” Phil says eagerly, and Dan’s heart races in excitement. Phil has managed to say exactly the right thing. Unlike a lot of people Dan’s known, Phil hasn’t fixated on the failed law degree, or told him that it was silly to get a philosophy degree, or that a minimum wage job selling video games is going to get him nowhere. He actually likes his job, damnit.

“Yeah. I spend too much time playing video games, probably.” Dan unzips his coat to reveal a Sonic the Hedgehog t-shirt.

“I love Sonic,” Phil says. “I used to play it with my brother all the time. And then I really wanted a pet hedgehog, but Mum said no.” He pouts. “We did have a rabbit when I was young though.”

Dan laughs. “I bet you were the kind of kid who kept finding frogs and injured birds and stray cats in the garden, and begging your mum to let you keep them.”

Phil grins. “Yup. I was destined to become a zookeeper, I think. Speaking of which, I should probably get back to, you know. Keeping the zoo. Can’t spend all day with these little guys, much as I’d love too.” He smiles down at Paprika and gives her one last piece of bamboo.

“Thanks for talking with me,” Dan says. “About red pandas and life and everything.”

“Of course.” Phil turns to leave, then stops. “Um.” Suddenly, he looks flustered, like he can’t quite meet Dan’s eye. “Are- are you free this evening? I get off at four, and I dunno if it’s weird to say this, but I’d love to keep talking to you. About games, or animals, or philosophy. Whatever you want. You just - you seem cool.”

“Are you asking me out on a date?” Dan blurts out, because he’s not subtle at the best of times. And Phil is cute and apparently makes him lose his filter.

Phil blushes as red as Paprika's fur. “Ha. Yeah. A date. It’s just, I saw your pin-” And he points at Dan, and he’s confused until he realizes that Phil is pointing at the little rainbow pin affixed to Dan’s backpack. “I know I shouldn't assume anything by that, but I figured at least you wouldn’t, like, get mad at me for asking.”

“I won’t.” Dan grins, and he’s probably also blushing. “I’m gay. And single. And pleased to hear I actually made a good first impression on you.”

“Great! You can choose the place. Except I’m vegetarian, so no steakhouse, please.” He tries to wink at Dan, but it looks more like a failed blink. Dan’s stomach is filled with butterflies.

“I think I can manage that,” Dan says. “I’m vegan, like, ninety percent of the time. Thank my brother and my philosophy degree for that.”

Phil laughs. “I feel like there's a good story there. You'll have to tell it to me when we meet up. 

"I will," Dan says. "But you should probably give me your phone number so I can actually tell you where we’re meeting.” 

Phil happily rattles off his number, then says, “Well, I’m off to go take care of a very grumpy old porcupine named Edgar. Wish me luck. I think he hates me. I’ve been reading up on porcupine behaviour to see if I'm doing something wrong, but he tries to bite me every time I try and feed him.”

“Maybe you’re tasty,” Dan says.

“Probably am. I eat too much sugar.” Phil picks up the now-empty bucket of red panda food. “Well, I'll see you later, Dan!”

Dan gives a dorky little wave and watches him go. When he’s finally out of the exhibit, Dan can’t help but bounce a little in place, filled with excitement and anticipation. He’s going on a date with a cute, nerdy zookeeper tonight.

“I hope he likes me, Paprika,” Dan whispers to the red panda on the other side of the fence. She blinks slowly up at him, her eyes wide and round, and Dan takes that as a yes.

**Author's Note:**

> I have wanted to write a zookeeper!Phil AU for the longest time. I am pleased that I have an excuse to do it now, and contribute something positive to the world! :>
> 
> If you enjoyed, please consider [reblogging this fic!](https://possumdnp.tumblr.com/post/613055095329947648/paprika-g-14k-summary-an-alternate-first)


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